Ahem.

After several years of blogs, i'm beginning to think i seriously suck at blogging.

Very good intentions.......

Then life gets in the way. Rather, I LET life get in the way.

So when I figure out some new plans and get it all together i MAY blog again

but most likely at a different address.

Thank you for reading.

Thank you for supporting me.

Thank you for being a friend.

xoxo

Kris.

Crispy Evening!

What a lovely evening to curl up with a good book and a cup of tea!

I have achieved absolutely nothing today.

NOTHING.

This was my only day off till sometime next week so I felt like being selfish!

I surfed around the internet and just relaxed - or tried to.

I felt so guilty all day like i should be doing the dishes/laundry/cleaning/organizing/getting my life together/saving the world. You get the idea.

Why is it so hard to just relax and be okay with taking time out to do nothing?

My anxiety over doing nothing just ruined my day and of course anxiety = stress eating. So now i feel guilty for eating crappy today too!

I've been feeling guilty for not posting any vegan goodness either.

That's because there hasn't been any!

My darling husband has been vegan for about ten days now and I haven't made a single step in that direction yet.

I have been busy at work and haven't taken the time out to research some portable breakfast options for a girl who loves a warm filling breakfast...pooh.

Another thing to feel guilty for!

I really need to quit being so hard on myself - any ideas/tips on how ?

I think i need a yummy holiday evening.

My fave holiday movies, a sea of blankets and some yummy warm tea or hot chocolate! (my vote is for the hot chocolate)

If only!

I'm off to find something to wear to work tomorrow and try to quit feeling so guilty and also sad because I wasted my relaxing day feeling tense and guilty!

So instead of refreshed i'm off to work even more stressed and wound up tomorrow.

Ugh!

In other news, my school stuff arrived so that's just another thing to feel guilty about - seeing my little red box of supplies hanging around waiting to be loved!

VeganMOFO!

Love how that sounds!:D

What a wonderful time to start figuring this whole vegan thing all out :)

It's Vegan MoFO or Vegan Month of Food.

I might have to give my husband access to my blog so that we'll get some daily posts out on our adventures this month and beyond :)

It all started with Bill Clinton and a chocolate cupcake.

Perhaps it even started before that.

When i read SkinnyBitch in 2008 I was horrified and grossed out - my eyes were peeled WAY open and I haven't eaten meat since.

For about 4 months I ate vegan and that's probably a sad term for what i ate. I consumed cheerios, granola bars and apples.

It didn't end well, naturally!

I'm ready to make another attempt with a little more information and educated choices and just good old figuring it all along the way.

Where does Bill KiKi come in? (my cousin's little boy who is now 16 used to call him bill kiki - it was one of his first words! tee hee).

Well he's had some health issues and has embraced a vegan or mostly vegan lifestyle in order to reverse them. Yes, health problems can be reversed. You don't have to be slave to the pills they throw at you on tv.

I wonder how many people go to the dr requesting pills they see on TV?

I'm not knocking drugs, they have their place. But food cures too.

My sweet husband mentioned an article he read about Bill's veganism. Around that time I had planned on making cupcakes for his birthday art show and he presented me with a recipe for vegan cupcakes.

I told him it was a stupid idea to serve vegan cupcakes to these meat eatin folk and that i'd probably screw them up in three thousand ways and they'd be eating rubbery cupcakes.

Um, no. They were WAY easier to make than regular cupcakes soooo much less hassle and they were AMAZING!

UH MAY ZING!!!! So much so that i doubt i'll ever make a regular chocolate cake again - there's no need to!

That got me thinking and I hated that I started eating cheese again and cream in my coffee since returning to the states.

(thanks for that husband)

Added to that, my HORRIBLE diet from this past summer (omg...really..i can't even believe i ate what i ate).

Things need to change.

I really hate my breakfast options at the bakery cafe too.

So i'm going to get over bringing my breakfast. I will bring it and eat it there but I will purchase a coffee/tea so that i'm at least buying something :)

So this month I will get the husband to help me in the documenting/posting of our vegan culinary adventures:)

Tonight I will probably bake some bars that I can take with me for breakfast and I will pack my almond milk to add to my coffee.

I'm spending most of my day off researching bar recipes. Anybody have any that they like?

eta: it was too late to sign up for the vegan mofo blog roll but i still put a button on my left nav bar so you can go read about all the coolness:)

Buh Bye Cookies (and other assorted tales)

If anybody is wondering about my 'other assorted tales' references- we can't be friends anymore.

It's an Enid Blyton reference.

I've worked a shit ton. Really...a shit ton..

I haven't really made any art or any effort to make any art.

I haven't really felt like it either. I'm not rushing or pushing it. I know it will pass and I will jump into a making/doing frenzy.

The time of year for glitter is here! (insert jazz hands and spirit fingers here).

I have a glorious 2 hour period of time to myself EVERY morning to sit and read or make lists or think about things.

While i still hate getting out of bed at an ungodly hour (my body loves getting up at 9am naturally no matter how early i go to bed)

I enjoy that two hour me time and it passes surprisingly quickly.

I use the time to trick myself into thinking its ok to go to work. But it just feels like putting one foot in front of the other to get back home and to bed to go back the next morning to do it all over again.

The company i work for is closing our division so there is an end in sight.

I'm not fretting too much about what is next. It will come.

My thing right now is making mornings bearable for the next few months - especially as it is getting colder out!

I have to layer up (because i walk to work after my 2 hour me time)

It is a short walk - maybe less than ten minutes but it feels like 20 or more in that cold!

It is a pain in the butt to put it all on, take it off for my 2 hour wait then put it all back on but it is what I have to do if I don't want to freeze on my walk to work!

I'm trying to 'hack' my morning routine so that my mornings can run smoother.

I'm sick of scrambling to find something to wear and to figure out makeup/hair etc.

I know that making my morning more bearable will mean night time preparation.

I'm currently trying to beef up my wardrobe so that i can have several outfits pre assembled that I can grab in my sleepy stupor.

This isn't an easy task for someone who is quite happy washing and wearing the same thing everyday.

I miss uniforms!

It is also so much easier in the summer to find clothes!

I'm sick of being cold in the morning and by lunchtime i'm sweating because it is so hot! There is only so much I can peel off!

I'm averaging half hour to 45 mins right now. I'd like to cut that down to 20 mins.

20 mins for a shower/teeth/makeup/hair/outfit/accessories/layering up.

I've started washing my hair at night to save time. I can't really do wash and wear hair - especially in the winter. BRRR!

I only wash my hair on alternate mornings. My off days are Psssst Days! I LOVE that stuff!!!

Its essentially a fine powder in spray form that sucks up excess oil so you don't look like a drowned rat. It really is a life saving product for someone like me.

I keep meaning to pick up some hair bands and clips to try wearing my hair up sometimes too.

Makeup is pretty basic.

As long as i get my foundation/ concealer done i'm happy. Anything else is a bonus.

I don't use any lip products religiously because i end up with that icky ring around the lips thing from talking so much all day.

Mascara is a must.

I don't feel like me if i'm not wearing eye liner but lately i've been swiping on grey eye shadow instead and it works..not necessarily faster though.....

Once i get my foundation on I have spare eye products in my purse that I can apply during my 'me time'.

I'm rambling and who the fuck really cares about my morning but me?

I'm just trying to make sense of it and maybe writing about it will help.

Anyways...another new problem is breakfast.

I've been spending my 2 hours at a bakery cafe type place and I feel the need to buy something in order to sit there for 2 hours.

I COULD just get a cup of tea but since i'm in too much of a hurry to eat at home, I get breakfast too.

It is getting expensive budgetwise and diet wise.

There aren't the best options there.

My husband and I are trying to be vegan and I've been before without much thought and that didn't end well.

There isn't a single option at that place for me so I'm thinking of making breakfast bars and the like to bring with me and just grab a cup of tea or coffee there. (any other ideas??!)

If i'm getting coffee i'll have to bring my own almond milk in a little bottle (really?! more shit to think of that early in the morning? )

So that complicates things a bit further but I think I can do it. No, I know I can.

I just feel so bad not buying much there anymore.

I have to find a couple bar recipes and have some fun baking and experimenting :)

I just feel a little rushed in having to figure this all out. I want to do this yesterday and that never works out well for me.

I'm definitely having to learn some patience.

I will try to keep up with my posting so I can update you on my progress/findings and if miraculously I can get from bed to car in 20 mins :)

p.s. byebye to cookies really means bye bye to sugar. I'm indulging too much and if i do have cookies they'll be vegan and hopefully just lightly sweetened with brown rice syrup or something like it :)

Then this would happen.

Enter Mondo Beyondo.

I heard of mondo beyondo before it was mondo beyondo via Andrea Scher's blog some years ago.

Back then i was living elsewhere, a totally different life and I made a mondo beyondo list with a very AS IF! attitude.

Fast forward three or four years and a lot of things on that list have happened. Even though i totally forgot it existed.

The price was right last night and I signed up for the fall Dream Lab session. A subset of mondo beyondo, if you will.

Several things shifted after I wrote my last post.

Plans are being made, hopes and dreams are being rekindled and life is looking brighter.

All because I decided to believe................in me. :)

What If

I just went for it.
Created like there was no tomorrow.
Believed.
What if I just gave in to what really feeds me instead of depleting myself
day after day, expecting something to change?
Hm......:)

Idea Hatching.

It is pretty exciting when I allow myself to dream.